Ends & Beginnings

Writing new chapters…

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Staring at a Blank Page

There’s nothing more intimidating than staring at a blank page and mustering the courage to start writing. Every time I sit down to write these blogs I have to bust through that invisible ceiling that tries to keep me from starting. The interesting thing, however, is that once I get going, the words just start to flow.

I’ve found a very similar phenomenon in life. When you are facing the beginning of a new chapter you essentially have a blank page in front of you. You’ve got some skillsets and pens that you’ve picked up while writing previous chapters but it’s time to use those tools to write something new, which can be very intimidating. Making changes. Moving. Cutting ties with characters from previous chapters, if need be. Opening yourself up to new experiences & opportunities. All of these things are hard. However, just like in writing, you’ll find that once you start writing your new chapter, the words just start to flow.

I feel that I’m nearing the end of an amazing chapter of my life and am gearing up for a new chapter. One filled with new faces & places, new challenges, new skillsets, new opportunities & new rewards. I’ll get to bring everything I’ve learned about myself and about the world into my new chapter which gives me hope for the future ahead.

A Recap of My Previous Chapter

Almost 6 years ago to this day, I moved down to San Diego from my hometown of Portland, OR. I moved down not knowing many people in San Diego. All I knew was that I needed a change in my life. I had a good high school experience, but felt that I could get more out of life than what Oregon had to offer. I made the jump and it was the best decision I ever made.

In San Diego, I unlocked a new version of myself. I learned how impactful it can be to live in a warm, sunny place. Warm, sunny places also often attract warm, sunny people which creates a pretty awesome living environment. I went to school at USD and studied computer science. At the same time, I started taking my photography and videography more serious. I learned the difference between doing something because I loved doing it (photo / video) and doing something because I thought it would help me land a good job (computer science). The difference between my dedication to these two things became quite apparent. It was a lot easier to pour endless hours into something that I genuinely enjoyed doing, rather than something that I felt I should be doing.

Becoming aware of this stark difference gave me the fuel needed to start my freelance videography business rather than pursuing the common path of getting an entry-level job using my college degree.

When I started my freelance business in June of 2019 I had no clients, no money, and no credibility. Fast forward 3 years and I have worked with over 60 different companies, been flown around the world by my clients in order to do my job, made enough money to support my SoCal lifestyle, had my photos featured on Spotify, been on tour with some of the worlds biggest international DJs, met some of my heroes, and made some great friends and memories along the way. It’s kind of lame to state your accomplishments out like this, but sometimes it’s helpful to remind yourself how far you’ve come.

And while building my freelance business was fun, it wouldn’t have been nearly as fun without having an amazing friend group to support me down here in San Diego. I truly lucked out by meeting some of the most caring, driven & thoughtful people I could have ever hoped for. Having people who are genuinely interested in your life and support you through everything is one of the biggest competitive advantages somebody could ever have. If you are reading this, then you are likely one of these people, so thank you.

While this chapter has been amazing, it hasn’t come without challenges. For me, the biggest and most frequent challenge I face is self-doubt. Some days I feel on top of the world; proud that I’m taking the road less traveled. Other days, I feel like I’m making a huge mistake by trying to pursue something out of the ordinary. Thinking that I should just give up and join the rat race. I’d probably be making more money and wouldn’t have to deal with as many headaches.

I’ve learned that often these thoughts are triggered by comparison. When I compare myself to other’s success I start to feel small, which sucks. I’ve found that these times are when it is very important to have a support system of friends and family but also of other entrepreneurs who can relate to some of the challenges you are facing. I’m doing my best to surround myself with the energy that keeps me feeling on top of the world, because when I’m feeling like this, I usually tend to do my best work and make the boldest moves.

Semi-Clarity

I now have a much clearer picture of what I want in life. It’s not 100% clear, but it’s not as fuzzy as it used to be. To gain this semi-clarity, I exposed myself to a lot of different people, places & experiences. These helped me realize what was important to me.

I now have an idea of the type of people I want to be around, the places I want to call home, how I want to spend my time, and what’s worth fighting for. I’m sure things will change as I age and mature but for now I’ve got a better idea of what I’m looking for.

My Priorities for the Next Chapter

I’ve noticed a shift in my priorities over the past year. Certain things just aren’t getting me as excited as they used to and there are new things that I’m finding incredibly engaging. Aimless nights out at bars I’ve been to a million times don’t excite me. Listening to a technical co-founder explain how he got is company off the ground does excite me. Watching sports (unless it’s going to games in person) does not excite me. Learning the history of a foreign city I’m traveling in does excite me. I think these changes just highlight where my priorities are shifting. Whether it’s happening intentionally or not, it’s happening.

For my next chapter, I’ve identified several things that have become high priorities.

1. Working with other people. No more going solo. I have a lot of trouble outsourcing work as I’m a perfectionist and lack trust in other people to match the quality I’m looking for. I’ve found this to be limiting. I’ve realized that to ever build something bigger than myself I’ll have to learn to work with others and trust that people can carry out my vision.

2. Business > creative. For my last chapter, I was a creative first, and then learned just enough business skills to help me make a living, but I can feel that balance tipping the other way. For this next chapter, I’d like to create solid business first and then use my creativity as rocket fuel to amplify that business.

3. Protect my time. Having control of my time is very important. Learning to say “no” is something I’m looking to do more of in this next chapter. Similarly, avoiding distractions will be important in keeping me on track.

4. Going narrow instead of wide. The nature of a freelance business is that you get to work on a lot of varied projects and get to see inside of a lot of different businesses. This is great because you get exposure to a lot of new stuff, but it is really hard to make continued progress in one direction as you are constantly being pulled in different directions. In my next chapter, I’d like to focus on a single direction and apply all of my efforts there.

5. Putting time & effort into important relationships. Not living in my hometown and seeing friends move away has helped me realize that it takes effort to keep relationships going when people aren’t right in front of you everyday, but doing so is very important. My nightmare situation is spending all my time trying to become financially successful only to achieve it and have nobody that cares about me. Doesn’t sound very fun.

6. Look for asymmetric risk. Asymmetric risk just means that there is a disproportionally higher amount of upside than there is downside for a specific decision / risk. When you have nothing to lose, there is asymmetric risk everywhere. My favorite asymmetric risks are cold outreach, asking for 10% off at stores for no reason, and talking to people on airplanes. There’s pretty much no risk in all of these, but very high upside if things go well.

7. Growth mindset vs. fixed mindset. This concept changed my life. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go read the book Mindset by Carol Dweck. The book helps you understand the difference between having a fixed mindset (thinking we are born with certain set of skills / abilities that are set in stone) and a growth mindset (every skill / ability is something that can be learned or developed). This book helped me frame how I look at the world and how I look at taking on new challenges & opportunities. I want to keep this concept front of mind as I enter a new chapter.

8. The importance of health & wellness. Living in SoCal has exposed me to a whole new way of life. There are so many people here that take health & wellness so seriously and it was not something I was used to back in Oregon. But I’ve realized the benefits, and it’s something I want to keep with me for the rest of my life. Getting outside everyday, going on walks, hitting the gym, playing sports, getting enough sleep, proper nutrition (still working on this one) are all so important to my efficacy and happiness as a human.

9. The importance of community. I’ve realized how important it is to surround myself with people I want to be like. I can have different groups for different parts of my personality but I need to make sure that everyone I hang around has some trait that I’d like to be have, because naturally, over-time, their personality / habits will rub off on me.

10. Self Reflection. Self-reflection has been such a important part of my journey. It allows me to process the things happening in my life and take note of where I’m at mentally at any given time. It also allows me to make plans & set priorities based off of observed realities in my own life. This is what allows me to live a life where I feel I’m in the drivers seat, rather than feel like life is just happening to me. It allows me to see the progress I am making. Progress comes gradually, so often times it’s hard for us to comprehend how far we have come as we are comparing ourselves to how we were yesterday. And we aren’t that different from who we were yesterday. However, when you think back to who you were years ago, you start to remember the hurdles you were facing, the things that kept you up at night, the goals you had for yourself, and then you look at where you are today and realize you’ve accomplished many of those things. Being aware of your progress gives you the courage to keep moving forward, to keep setting bigger and bigger goals, and to keep chasing the life you want to live.

Wrap Up

Apologies for the length of this bad boy. Just had a lot on my mind that I wanted to get down on virtual paper. Also, sorry for the lack of jokes. Wasn’t feeling very jokey today. The next one will have at least 3x more jokes. I wrote this piece just as much for myself as I did for my dedicated readers (up to 104 readers by the way!) but in the future I’ll try to make the blogs more entertaining or interesting. Hopefully there was something useful or thought-provoking about this update and if not, at least you’ve got an update on my life!

A quote I’ll leave you with:

If you are overthinking, write, if you are under thinking, read. - I forget where I heard this

Until next time,

Flickman

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P.P.S.: I’m currently looking to get connected with other entrepreneurs in their early to mid 20s. I’ve found the road to be quite lonely at times and having a community of like-minded individuals trying to solve similar problems can be super valuable. If that is you or somebody you know, please shoot me a message. I’d love to connect.