The Art of Talking to Strangers
Are strangers dangerous?
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STRANGER DANGER
Stranger danger. A neat little phrase we were all taught at a young age. Strangers are dangerous. Don’t get in their cars, don’t take candy from them, don’t even talk to them. To be fair, there is some validity to being skeptical of new faces, especially when you are young, easily tricked, and light enough to kidnap. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that “stranger danger” doesn’t align with the reality that I’ve experienced. In fact, strangers have a lot in common with spiders in the sense that “they are a lot more scared of you than you are of them.”
A QUOTE TO LIVE BY
I heard this quote the other day while I was blasting self-help audio down my ear drums. I’ll paraphrase It a bit, but it went something like this:
“Everybody wants to talk to you, you just have to go first.” - Can’t remember who said it
It’s a new perspective on how to look at the world. Look around. If there’s any strangers near you right now, they want to talk to you. Trust me. It’s all they are thinking about. But they are too nervous to, that’s why you need to go first. It’s not factually true, not every person wants to talk to you, but that doesn’t matter. It’s more about the energy you will bring to the table when you approach a conversation thinking that the other person wants to chat as well. This new framework has inspired me to start talking to strangers more often, and through that I’ve had some insights. See below.
HOW TO TALK TO A STRANGER
The hardest part is the first word, so I usually start with something easy. Maybe compliment their bag, maybe ask what they ordered for lunch, something simple, don’t overcomplicate it.
Build trust right away. Give context to who you are or why you are where you are so they know you aren’t a weirdo.
Always smile. People like people that smile.
Be curious. Try to talk about yourself as little as possible. Ask good questions.
Be an active listener. Ask follow up questions. Get them talking about themselves and it’s smooth sailing from there.
Know when it’s time to walk away. Nobody likes a conversation that drags on too long. If there’s a reason to, grab their contact info. If not, tell them to have a nice day and move on. Congrats on the successful convo!
GIVE IT A TRY
An easy place to practice talking with strangers is on airplanes. There’s precisely a 17 second window of opportunity at the beginning of the flight before your shoulder-bumping neighbor decides if they are going to put their headphones in and listen to Crime Junkies for 5 hours straight or if they are going to have a super-engaging electric multi-hour conversation with your interesting ass. This is your chance to strike. A simple “Hello” followed with a question shows to them that you are DTF, down to flood-their-ears-with-conversation. Give this a try next time you fly!
WHY SHOULD I EVEN TALK TO STRANGERS?
Talking to strangers opens up a whole new world of opportunities. You never know their story until you ask. Who knows, maybe they are the missing puzzle piece you’ve been searching for. New people = new opportunities.
WRAP UP
Thank you so much for reading! I’ve really been enjoying writing these. I would love to get some feedback from my avid readers, so if you’ve made it this far, would you mind answering a couple of questions. Feel free to respond to this email or email me separately at matthickman10@gmail.com:
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Thank you again for your support, it means the world. One day we will look back on these early blogs and laugh about how bad they are. But for now, no laughing. Just writing.
Until next time,
Flickman
*BUT WAIT, YOU SHOULD SEND THIS TO YOUR FRIEND WHO ALWAYS TALKS TO STRANGERS. DO IT NOW!