Don’t Commit to Unhappiness, Try This Instead
The art of dabbling…
*If you haven’t already, please subscribe here. I’m up to 52 subscribers, wouldn’t it be cool if you were number 53?
*PSA: I say the f word in this blog. You have been warned.
“So now that you are done with school what are you going to do with your life?”
The most intimidating question that a 20-something year old can be asked. Well-meaning adults ask this all the time and it often leaves me shaking in my little boots. I like to play this fun game where I answer the question as if I’ve got some master plan already assembled but I’m really just trying to hold back from saying “I don’t know.”
Career Fairs Are Our Only Hope…
In the US, the systems for figuring out what you want to do with your life include career fairs, unpaid internships, and then pressure to commit to a major or track at a young age that will determine which entry level jobs you’ll be qualified for come graduation. Woohoo! You then will likely take the first opportunity that comes your way post-grad regardless of if you are interested in it because you need the money and you figure it’s the logical next step.
Then naturally, you’ll move up the ranks at that company and all of a sudden you are making a little more money which seems great at first but then you start hating your work. However, your only working experience is with this company and in this industry so in order to shift careers you’d need to start back at square one, take a pay cut, and risk jumping into a new career path that you have no experience with. This narrative is all too common in todays day and age, but there are other options.
Explore Your Options
In my humble opinion, there is not enough emphasis placed on exploration and discovery in your early adult years. There is a lot of pressure to commit to a path and stick with it. While I think commitment is very important, I also believe you should have conviction in your commitments. Commit because you believe in the path, not because you feel like you have to commit. Would you ask somebody you’ve known only 6 months and don’t have any real spark or chemistry with to marry you? That’s what most of us do with our career paths. Food for thought. Yummy.
We Need the Costco Samples
What is dabbling? Dabbling is the act of trying a bunch of different things without going too far into each one. It’s kind of like sampling at Costco. Going just far enough to get a taste of what life could look like if you followed a certain career path. Dipping your toe into this pool we call life.
In a lot of European countries it is very common for students to take gap years either after high school or after university. This gives them a chance to travel, try new things, read books, talk with people living different types of lives, and most importantly it shows them that there is a whole big world out there, with endless opportunities to pursue. They are able to dabble for a while before committing to a long-term path. But what does dabbling look like? How would you do it?
How to Dabble
Stop caring about what people think, don’t try to keep up with the Jones’s. You will likely feel like you are falling behind if you start dabbling. Your friends will get promotions and raises and it will look like they are starting to figure life out. Some of them will be doing work they genuinely like but a lot of them will absolutely dread their work and will feel just as lost as you feel. Lost and also trapped, not a great combo.
Be curious as fuck, ask a lot of questions, and try to get into a lot of real world experiences. The only way you can genuinely figure out what you want to do is to put your self into new and interesting experiences. This can be hard at times but try to make it a habit to seek new experiences.
Have an open-mind. You never know what will end up being your calling. Saying yes to things that sound stupid or crazy may end up showing you a path you’d never considered before. This is a crucial part of the process.
Follow your interests, find work that feels like play. What did you enjoy doing as as kid? What do you do on Saturday mornings when you’ve got no obligations? What have you always thought could be a cool job? Start poking around in those spaces first, who knows what could happen.
Learn the fundamentals of adulthood. This will give you leverage to build a longer runway for yourself. Personal finance, economics, investing, how the government works, communication skills, etc. Try to stay out of debt, keep expenses low. Learn how the world works and take accountability for your own life. Regardless of the path you choose, these skills are worth their weight in bitcoin.
Understand the risk. This isn’t the safe route. High risk, high reward. Are you willing to take the risk for your dream life? This is something you’ve got to ask yourself.
It’s Your Life, Right?
You will likely spend over 50% of your waking hours working. That’s a pretty dreadful thing to think about if you assume that “working” is going to suck. But have you ever met somebody who actually enjoys their work? Somebody who talks about all the cool and interesting things they are working on? This could be the reality for everyone! It just takes some time, thought, and the kahunas to go out and try. You should choose your path, don’t let anyone else make that decision for you.
When you are 85 years old looking back on your life, will you regret the extra 5-10 years you took to find a solid career path that you loved? Or will you be grateful that you ended up spending 40 years doing work you found fulfilling and were able to make some great memories while exploring in your 20s?
Wrap Up
I hope this blog found you well. Life is a crazy thing and I’ve been feeling extra grateful lately for each day I’m granted. I’ve been thinking a lot about dabbling recently as I’m on my own journey to figure life out. It’s quite the process but I feel it’s worth the time spent. Please write me back with your opinions on this topic, I feel there may be some alternative points of view and I’d love to hear them!
Until next time,
Flickman
*If you made it this far you should email this to your friend that is considering a career change!
Good one Matt. Fascinating! I am passing these on to a couple of my grands…