A couple of weeks ago I went on a date that changed my perception of reality.
And to be honest, I don’t think there will be a second date with this girl.
She was nice but she’s just not my soup snake.
But that doesn’t mean she couldn’t change my life in the brief time we shared together.
Here’s what happened.
It happened about halfway through my favorite cheapskate low-cost NYC date option — a stroll through Central Park (see photo above).
A small army of pollen marched their way right up my nose.
Aaaa—chewwww.
I execute a textbook big sneeze.
This sneeze sparks a conversation about allergies, which prompts her to say something I won’t forget for a long time.
She mentions that she has this very niche allergic reaction to plant proteins that makes her throat itchy when she eats fruits & veggies.
A seemingly uninteresting statement, but not for me.
She goes on to say that the only way to scratch that itch in her throat is by making this weird little noise.
*She makes the noise*
I stop dead in my tracks.
I’ve never heard anyone else make that noise before.
I thought I was the only one.
Now why the hell was this moment so Earth-shattering?
I’ll tell you why.
Because I also have this same super niche food allergy she is describing.
The only difference is that I didn’t know it was a food allergy until the moment she explained it to me.
I’ve had it since I was a kid.
I would make that little noise to scratch my little itchy throat all the time.
People around me told me to stop making the noise because it was annoying.
And so I tried to.
But I couldn’t.
So I would just beat myself up for being a little weirdo (sounds stupid, but when we are young, we beat ourselves up about stupid stuff).
I even thought I had Teretz for a while (I know, dramatic lol) because I had this compulsion to make this noise to itch my throat after eating fruits and veggies.
That damn scratchy throat gave me a lot of pointless stress.
And now, in a moment, without even trying to, this girl had eradicated one of my biggest childhood insecurities.
Post-Sneeze
She then moved on from the allergy subject and continued to tell me all about her friend Jenny and Jenny’s poor choice of boyfriends.
But I couldn’t concentrate (sorry Jenny).
I couldn’t get my mind off the fact that I had been so upset about something that I totally misunderstood for so long.
“What other things do I believe about myself that are completely untrue?” I thought to myself.
There must be more false realities that I have constructed my identity around.
It’s an interesting and worthwhile rabbit hole to go down.
So why am I telling you this?
I know you don’t really give af about my niche allergies. And you shouldn’t!
But I know what you do care about.
Yourself.
And becoming a better version of yourself.
I told you this story to introduce you to the idea that there are stories you believe about yourself that are not true. And those stories are likely holding you back.
False Realities
You aren’t weird because you needed to scratch your throat after you ate fruit as a kid.
You aren’t unlovable because your first boyfriend/girlfriend in high school dumped you.
You aren’t incapable of great things because you weren’t a good reader when you were in Kindergarten.
You aren’t mentally weak because you quit playing sports as a kid, or gave up learning the piano in middle school.
These are all false realities that have stuck around with you since childhood.
And they aren’t true.
But, even though these stories aren’t true, they will shape your identity as long as you believe them.
And your identity shapes your habits.
And those habits shape your life.
So to change your life, you need to change those stories.
However, it’s not always as easy as somebody giving you a piece of information that changes everything in a moment (like with my sneezing story).
More often than not, it’s a more gradual process to rewrite that story.
For a further breakdown on how to rewrite these stories, check out this blog post from James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, who will explain how to build identity-based habits.
It’s a really good article.
Wrap Up
Hopefully, you can gain something from this story of me sneezing on a girl during a first date.
I don’t have it all figured out, but I do enjoy sharing things that I learn along the way.
Please email me back if you have any
questions
comments
concerns
business ideas
best man speech ideas
good names for children
tax return loophole strategies
or anything else that is on your mind
Feedback is the only way for me to get better as a writer, so you’d really be doing me a favor if you responded!
I hope you are doing well and that you are enjoying this ride we call life!
Until next time,
Flickman
P.S. Here is a photo dump from this month in NYC
P.P.S. - RAT COUNTER: 38 - low rat visibility this month, hopefully, everything is good with them.
Another good one Matt…I again sent it on to my granddaughter.