12 conversation hacks that'll make you UNFORGETTABLE
Guaranteed that you'll be more memorable after using these...
The average person will talk to roughly 80,000 people in their lifetime.
That’s a lot of chit chat.
So if we are going to have to move our lips that much, we might as well try to get good at it.
Because we all know what being in a good conversation feels like. Right?
time flies
you are fully engaged
there’s some back and forth
it doesn’t feel like a one-sided lecture
You don’t feel like you have to give energy to the convo, the convo is giving energy to you.
Unfortunately, that’s not how most convos go.
Here’s a better representation of a normal convo:
“Where’d you go to school? Arizona?! Oh that’s cool. I went to Oregon.” “No way, do you do work at a job now?” “Omg yes, how’d you know? I do work at a job. I work for my boss at our company” “Holy shit, I also work for my boss at our company.”
Boooorrrringggg
In order to eradicate stale conversations from my life, I’ve acquired & developed little tricks of the trade.
These tricks will add a little sugar and spice to your convos and indicate to your lip-moving partner that talking to you is going to be a fun and exciting adventure.
Before reading these, I need you to sign a mental NDA in your head stating that you won’t share these special ideas (unless it’s with somebody you think deserves them). Just think the thought “I agree” and then continue.
So without further ado:
12 CONVERSATION HACKS THAT’LL GUARANTEE PEOPLE REMEMBER YOU
Go into conversations thinking “how could I make this interaction as fun as possible?” That’s the goal. Having fun is awesome. Everyone likes having fun. Making the conversation fun for others will in turn, make it fun for you too. So keep that question top of mind as you dive into any conversation.
Get them out of “auto-pilot” mode ASAP. We spend most of our time in auto-pilot mode, just sort of going through the motions. We have mechanical responses to the questions we get asked all the time. We don’t really even have to think when we answer them. We are basically a customer service chatbot spitting out answers written months ago.
When somebody tells you their name, spell it back to them (even if it’s an easy name to spell) — if it’s a hard name to spell this will lead to a fun little bit where you try your hardest to spell it and they have to correct you
If you like the name — say “that’s a beautiful name” — if it isn’t beautiful, don’t say it is)
You can also say “That’s my grandma’s name” even if it isn’t, and then admit your bluff when they say “Really?!” (see number 9)
Ask people where they are from, then say “Wait no, don’t tell me.” and then try to guess where they are from — they will be curious to see what you guess because they are curious as to what vibe they give off
Always guess Ohio because it’ll make them mad, unless they are actually from Ohio, in which case they will still be upset that they give off that vibe
The point is not to guess correctly but to indicate that you are here to have fun and they can lighten up around you
Before you explain a new idea to somebody, ask them what their current understanding of that idea is
This allows you to tailor your delivery of the idea to their current understanding level and in terms that they will understand
Remember that their mental map of the world is not the same as yours and to give directions to them you need to use the compass on their map, not yours
It also creates a little space for them to get some words in — to flex their vocal chords a little before you jump into your spiel
When somebody says what state they are from, guess the city (I always guess the state capital because I had to learn all the capitals in 4th grade so I’m guaranteed to know at least one city in their state). If you don’t know any cities in their state, just say “Springfield” — every state has a Springfield
When somebody says they went to a certain college, guess the mascot of their school
Them: “I went to Dartmouth”
You: “Go Tigers?” *hold up some sort of hand sign that you think might be their schools symbol as you make your guess
Always have an interesting question of the day ready — something more thought-provoking than a normal question — when there’s a break in the convo say “hey, have you ever thought about this: <insert your question>”
If you want some of my interesting questions, email me and I can send you a list
Exaggerate the truth. Literally just start making stuff up. Your job in a convo is to engage your audience, entertain them, inform them — and if a little exaggeration helps you make your point and makes the story more memorable, go for it.
WARNING: This can get annoying if you over do it — so make sure you are using this strategy tastefully
Add analogies — Analogies are a great way to explain things in a fun, simple way. They are like laxatives for sharing info — they just make the process smoother and less painful.
Constantly work to expand your analogy bank — think to yourself “How could I explain this to them in terms of things they already understand”
Example of an analogy: “Analogies are like laxatives for sharing info — they just make the process smoother and less painful.”
Do cool things, read cool things, talk to cool people — This will guarantee that you’ve got a constant flow of interesting ideas and stories to talk about. Doing cool things is the best, because then you can tell interesting personal anecdotes, however if you haven’t done much cool stuff, then at least get some cool second-hand ideas & stories to share.
Pitch them a business idea — consider it a little Shark Tank pitch, doesn’t have to be a real business — this is just a much more interesting frame for a conversation than the normal convo — my friend Quinn is great at this — he is always pitching us new inventions for his company Quindustries, Inc. which doesn’t exist (yet).
All of these tactics are great pattern interrupts that’ll help you escape the trap of boring conversations and, in turn, make you a more memorable person.
People will call you “fun to talk to.”
You will get invited to stuff just because you have “good energy” and always bring the conversation heat.
You’ll have god-level confidence in any conversation knowing you can turn it into a fascinating and interesting back and forth.
It takes effort and attention to get better at the art of conversation, but it is so worth it. You will be having a lot of conversations in your lifetime, might as well make them great!
Now go have a conversation and try some of these out.
And let me know if there’s any I should add to the list.
Until next time,
Flickman
Sources:
https://www.quora.com/How-many-different-people-does-the-average-person-speak-to-in-a-lifetime